Alyssa Milano believed her miscarriage was a “punishment” for having abortions when she was younger.
The ‘Charmed’ alum has recalled feeling as though she was being punished when she endured a miscarriage, as she said she believed at the time that the universe was hitting back at her for having an abortion in her 20s.
She said: “I definitely had this moment of, ‘Well, I’m being punished, baally, for abortions in my 20s.’ I didn’t realise that at the time. It took a while in therapy to realise that that was something that I was putting on myself.”
And Alyssa even carried those feelings into her life as a parent when she welcomed Milo, 10, and Elizabella, seven, with her husband David Bugliari.
She added: The way I interacted or was with my children — and I think this is common — but I always felt like, ‘What if something happens to these two little beings that I love so much? And is there a world in which they’re taken away from me for whatever karmic resolution needed to happen?’ ”
The 48-year-old actress endured two miscarriages before she welcomed any children, and sees her losses as “part of the process” of becoming a parent.
She told People’s ‘Me Becoming Mom’ podcast: “It was a bummer, but it felt like I got the two pregnancies I was supposed to get. And that’s how I kind of looked at it the entire time. I know that a lot of women take miscarriages very hard, but for me, it was part of the process, I guess. Both miscarriages were, I think I was maybe 7 or 8 weeks pregnant, so if it wasn’t viable, my body did what it was supposed to do. I still look at it like that.”
Alyssa previously spoke about her experience with abortion in 2019, when she said she terminated two pregnancies in 1993 within months of one another.
She said at the time: “I knew at that time, I was not equipped to be a mother, and so I chose to have an abortion. I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me. It was not an easy choice. It was not something I wanted, but it was something that I needed, like most health care is.
“It was devastating. I was raised Catholic and was suddenly put in conflict with my faith. A faith I was coming to realize empowered only men to make every single decision about what was allowed and what was not allowed.”